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From the porch
I am famous for being very romantic. When I was single I took a woman on a manure shoveling date. We went to a farm and shoveled horse manure from the barn into the back of the pickup truck and then went back and strategically placed it in the garden. I have never figured out why that romance didn't last. In fact, I never saw the girl again. However, I will gladly provide some tips for romantic anniversary outings or date ideas for that special woman you may have your eye on. One thing you can rely on in this part of the country is festivals. Every festival seems to be named after a flower, vegetable animal or insect. For example, there is the collard festival and the leek festival, How dreamy it is to walk handin hand between the rows of leeks. And then to munch on the plant, which is related to the onion and which has broad, succulent leaves, It is just too idyllic. In some parts of the country they have even better festivals. Have you heard of the tick festival or my favorite, the skunk festival? I couldn't find any poetic sounding festivals, such as I have described, in the area for this coming weekend. So I booked a motel with a fireplace and a jacuzzi. I have just been informed that jacuzzis are nasty and I shouldn't get in one. I don't know if it will destroy the romantic moment when we slip into the jacuzzi and I relay that fact to Susan. I can remember a very romantic moment with Susan. We were dating then and we were at a festival, of course. It was an art festival of some kind. Music was playing and we waltzed in the park - right beside a port-o-potty. I guess I'm considered visionary when it comes to romance. I have to stop now because I'm trying to decide on what kind of flowers to purchase for Susan. She deserves the best.
What would be better - cactus or stinkweed?
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